Sunday Planning

I'm a planner. I don't always do what I plan, but I still like to make plans anyway. Spreadsheets and lists make me happy. I make menus, but don't always stick to them. Sometimes my yearly school plan ends up being an unattainable dream. One thing I don't mess with is my plan for Sunday mornings.

That plan is to go to church. There are several facets to this plan.

Church is a priority. If you are a Christian, you should really be part of a church family and attend weekly. Our calendar is always empty Sunday mornings. Sundays are not the time to go to the zoo or see a movie or go grocery shopping or hang out with friends or get a hair cut. Don't even get me started about kid's sports on Sunday. Our priority on Sunday mornings is going to church. Every week. Don't just go to church when you have nothing else to do. Don't just go to church when you feel like it. When you don't feel like going is when you probably need it most!

We are never surprised by the fact that it's Sunday morning. We have planned on it, and looked forward to it, all week. Our family enjoys going to church; we hate to miss. If it's not possible for everyone to go we usually try to split up and send one parent with whoever is able. If one parent is out of town the other still takes everyone to church. Is it a bit harder on those days? Yes. Is it still worth it? Also, yes. It wasn't always this way for me personally - for many years, I looked for any little excuse to skip church. Don't be like that.

Our church has a weekly potluck, so we have an extra bit of planning in regards to that. We love our church family enough to put a little thought into what we bring each week. It may not be gourmet, but our goal is usually to bring enough to feed our family if no one else was there. This usually means a main dish, some fruit, a dessert, and a pitcher of iced tea. That's what we'd eat here at home anyway. When we lived in Wisconsin we tried to plan ahead and use the crockpot for a warm lunch to eat when we got home. Before we started that we had many afternoons ruined by grouchy, hungry people (mainly me).

How many times can I use the word plan in this post? Plan. Plan. Plan.

Listen, we are not parenting experts. We are not perfect. However, we can get this larger-than-average family fed, dressed, and out the door to church on time every single week. And it's not just now that the kids are older either - we've done it with a newborn, newborn twins(!), toddlers, toddler twins(!) and teens (although not yet with twin teens)! We've done it with one kid and with seven. I can't think of one time we've been late in the 17+ years we've been going to church. If we can do it, so can you!

Our kids don't give us trouble getting to church on Sunday mornings because 1) we wouldn't let them get away with that and 2) they like to go to church too. If you are a perpetually late person, may I respectfully suggest you make a special effort to get to church on time? God deserves your best. Work on being on time in general, but make a special effort where church is concerned.

I understand there are emergencies. Emergencies are: puke (in which case you wouldn't be late because you shouldn't go to church sick), a flat tire, or power lines across the road. Things that shouldn't be considered emergencies: kids being kids, cooking, eating, showering, laundry, dressing, or driving. Those things are NOT emergencies. Do they need to get done before you arrive at church? Yes, they do - plan for them. If you know your kids move slowly in the morning, then start earlier. If finding clothes and shoes slows you down, then lay them out on Saturday evening. If breakfast takes forever, eat cereal (maybe even the junky sugary kind). And, please, make sure they get to bed at a decent time on Saturday. I may have to write a separate post about kids and bedtime because that's another issue!

We talk about character qualities in school - usually one quality per week. Punctuality is one of them. Punctual people are dependable, trustworthy, reliable, and show respect for others. I want my kids to be all these things - now and as adults. If being punctual shows good character then what does being late show?

Being habitually late to church is just plain rude and there really is no excuse for it. Remember, someone has put time and effort into every part of the service from opening prayer to benediction (and beyond). You wouldn't go into a theater halfway through a movie, would you? So, why would you go into church halfway through a sermon?

I came across this quote (from a book written by an atheist) on the internet awhile back and found it interesting.

Speaking of those who walk into church late, I want to know why they do so. Not everyone gets stuck in traffic. If church is so important, there is no reason to walk in late. In fact, if going somewhere to worship God is important, then people should arrive early. It seems completely disrespectful to me when people walk into the auditorium five or ten minutes into the service. And what’s worse is when parents come in with their children, who learn by example that walking in late is not a big deal. It’s just church, right? No need to get there on time. Is that what Christians want to teach their children?

That is a pretty interesting observation, isn't it? The old saying "actions speak louder than words" comes to mind. If you say God is a priority - and if you're a Christian He should be - then prove it with your actions. Don't let church be an after thought, make it a priority and plan for it!


*Note: If you are one of my midwestern friends you might wonder why I even wrote this. Arizona has a problem - not everyone, of course, but quite a few. I don't know if it's the laid back western culture or if they just aren't embarrassed by stuff, but people here are flaky. They aren't nearly as dependable as midwesterners - they have no problem not showing up for things or canceling plans at the last minute. And they are late. A lot. Even for church. And it drives me crazy!

There's No Comparison

I've needed a little reminder about this in the past few days and want to remind you… don't compare your life to others! Just don't do it. Celebrities, bloggers, Facebook friends, people you know in real life… no one! You really don't know their whole story and one little detail can make all the difference.

That mom who feeds her kids all organic, non-GMO, gluten-free foods has a rotten marriage.

The family that took an awesome trip to Disneyland doesn't have a penny in savings.

The guy that paid off his mortgage and has a ton of money in savings hasn't talked to his mom in six years.

That neighbor whose house is always cleaner than yours has Molly Maids clean every Wednesday.

That homeschool mom who does all kinds of neat projects with her kids hasn't cooked a decent meal for her family in a week.

I made all those examples up, but I'm sure every single person you know who "has it all together" has a problem of some kind you don't know about. How do I know?

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. - John 16:33

Unless you live with someone, and sometimes not even then, do you know the whole story. People tend to share what they want you to know. I do it. You do it. We all do it. Even people who say they are being completely honest and transparent do it. People may not be lying, but they also may not be sharing the whole truth either.

So, before you wonder why your family can't take that trip to Disneyland or why your house isn't as clean as your neighbors, remember you don't know the whole story, so there really is no comparison.

Minecraft is Not the Problem

Minecraft is a hugely, popular computer game. After holding out for quite some time, I let the boys download it last summer. I have no great love for the game, but the boys enjoy it and it offered something fun to do during our hot Arizona summers.

A homeschooling blogger I follow on Facebook linked to an article about deleting Minecraft. She didn't write the article herself, but found it interesting and asked what her readers thought.

I read the article half hoping the author would offer some convincing arguments that I could use to get rid of it. No such luck. Here are a few parts:

Then I began to notice screen time and giving up the screen made you cranky and angry. You responded less to Dad and me, ignored guests, and blew off friends playing outside. Preferred downtime was spent in the basement; alone in a Minecraft cave.

My boys became a bit obsessed with the game too, so I kept reading:

So in an effort to find balance, we set up a schedule to earn and limit play time. It didn’t work. The timer chime was drowned out daily by your pleading, sometimes screaming voice...

Sometimes my kids plead for more Minecraft time too. Screaming?! They know better than that! I read the entire article and the only thing I was convinced of was that the author's children need some serious discipline.

So I left a comment...

"After reading this article I don't think the author has a *Minecraft problem*, she has a *parenting problem*. My kids are sad when their turn is done (everyone gets 30 minutes screen time here), but they get over it. They also get upset when I call them in from playing with their friends or tell them to clean up the Legos because it's bedtime. I don't give in to their protests about those things either."

Polite discussion ensued. Some moms don't allow Minecraft, some do and wish they didn't. A few agreed with me that Minecraft wasn't the actual problem in this case. That was it, we all moved on. This morning, almost two weeks later, the author of the actual article replied to my comment:

"I think it is important to celebrate children for who they are while simultaneously doing what we believe is best for them and our families. This is not a parenting issue. I have two respectful, kind, cooperative, happy, and sensitive boys who still earn limited screen time to play video games; just not Minecraft. For some reason, perhaps it is the way their brains are wired, that game elicited extreme reactions and thus in my house, it had to go away. Thank you for taking the time to read my essay. Wishing you continued success on your parenting journey."

Interesting. As they say in the Lego Movie - what a bunch of "hippy dippy baloney"! She missed my point entirely. I stand by my comment. She DOES have a parenting problem. I am not one to engage in internet drama. When people say they can't stand all the drama on Facebook, I wonder what they are talking about. I just look at the photos and updates my friends post and let the rest pass me by. I am careful when I comment on public pages and about what I "like" because that's not why I use Facebook.

So, even though it was outside my comfort zone, I felt like I had to reply. Not for the author (she seems hopeless), but for the young, homeschooling moms who might read our exchange.

Here is what I said:
"Children, boys especially, have a tendency to obsess about things. I think it's how they learn. My boys have been obsessed with birds, dinosaurs, drawing comics, knights/castles, bike riding, and baseball. They were all phases and most are now over. (Bummer. I really enjoyed the bird one.) I agree some obsessions require extra parental guidance and time limits. Minecraft was such and, thankfully, interest is already waning here. We'll move onto the next thing having learned a bit about computers and programming.

I absolutely agree each family should do what works for them when it comes to video games and the internet. The only thing I know about your family is what I read in this article. You wrote of anger, pleading, yelling, and screaming. At our house those behaviors are not okay, no matter what the cause. In our family, we choose to deal with them head on instead of getting rid of the offending catalyst. Mostly because I know there will be another catalyst. I hope no one reads this comment as a defense for Minecraft, I really have no love for it. Your post and this whole conversation could be about any number of things kids might obsess over."

I didn't say this, but should have asked… what is this mom going to do when the issue that is bringing out these behaviors in her children can't be easily deleted? What is she going to do when her kids plead and scream because they don't want to leave the playground? Or hand over their cell phone at bedtime? She didn't deal with the underlying problem, she just deleted Minecraft. Minecraft is not the problem. This has nothing to do with Minecraft at all!

I really hope she didn't tell her kids she deleted it because the game "made" them act up. What kind of message would that be? You aren't in control of yourself. The game made you act like that. You don't need to learn self-control and respect for your parents, mom will just delete the game.

This is a good example of why I don't look to magazines or the internet for parenting advice. First, this woman is an author. Writing is her career. She is trying to get people to read this article so she can make money. This is the goal of parenting magazines as well; not to tell you truth, but to get you to buy their product. Have you ever noticed that there are parenting articles that have opposing truths? How can they both things be true? They can't. One of them is wrong - or worse lying - and sugar coating things to make people feel better (and sell magazines!).

Second, her thinking is flawed. A child pleading and screaming at their parents about a computer game is not the problem. A child pleading and screaming at their parents about anything is a problem. It might have been better for them all to keep Minecraft and work through the fit throwing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short side note: I went and read the original article again. Then I did something I hadn't done before. I went to her actual blog. No wonder I don't agree with her, she seems to be the opposite of me in every way. She lives in the northeast. She obviously doesn't run in my circles because she didn't even know what a "SAHM" was! (It means stay-at-home-mom.) She put career first and had children late. In fact, she only wanted one, but ended up with an "accidental" second (her words, I hate that phrase). Her kids go to a conventional school. And, most importantly, she is not a Christian. Of course, it is fine to read and discuss articles written by people who don't hold your same values, but is that who you want to look to for advice?

One Year Later

Here are some random thoughts on the first year anniversary of our return to Arizona:

Summer is hot. Jer and I already knew that, but the boys didn't really understand. It's something you have to experience. At the same time, if you have AC (and are willing to pay high electric bills) it really isn't too bad. Similar (in a way) to the extreme cold, you just stay inside as much as you can. How people did it without AC is beyond me... maybe the heat melted their brains and they couldn't figure out how to leave.

God puts you where you need to be. We were in a rental house for the first 5½ months we lived here and while it seemed a random choice at the time, God surely knew it was not! We made some wonderful friends while living there. Never, NEVER, have we had such a fun neighborhood! We got to know at least six families. And I don't mean just a wave hello as you walk by, I mean sit and chat for hours and have meals together friends. We love our house, but we miss being steps away from friends! Thankfully, they are just a few miles away and we can still visit, but the boys remind me frequently it's "just not the same".

Not everyone is nice. As I just said, our rental neighborhood was great. I try and focus on the positive, but during our time there we did have our first taste of someone not liking our family. Frankly, it sucked. One neighbor lady just did not like us. She doesn't enjoy children and the noise they make while they are playing outside. She didn't approve of them playing anywhere near her property or even in the public street in front of her house. Sidewalk chalk? Hose it off! Walk two steps in her side yard? Put up planters to block the way! Kids playing in the street with capable adults watching? Call the sheriff to step up patrols! It really was a sad, frustrating situation. We tried to be kind, sharing a plate of cookies at Christmas and waving hello, but she would just turn her back on us (literally) and bad mouth us to whoever would listen. She must not have ever lived next to really bad neighbors. We knew the rental wasn't the type of house we were looking for, but might have actually considered buying it if she hadn't lived right next door. We learned that some people just can't be won over. I just try to remind myself that she didn't even really know us. In the end, it was her loss.

Buying a house is a LOT different here. Someday I'll write a post about the purchase of our current house. A lot of people think we were lucky because we purchased a house while "prices were low", but I like to think of it as we bought a house while prices were normal. The housing prices, especially here, were just inflated for several years. That doesn't mean they are "low" now. Yes, we got a "deal" compared to 5 years ago, but I think what we paid for this house was a fair price. Thankfully, not inflated, but also not especially low.

Overall the cost of living is higher here. I don't know why, but that surprised me. I mistakenly thought we'd have cheaper prices on somethings (produce for one), but that hasn't been the case. In addition, sales tax is more here so even if the price isn't too bad the total is never what I expect. We have spent more money in the last year than we have EVER and our savings shows it! We're hoping to build it back up ASAP.

Homeschooling is a blessing. I knew this already, but it was especially helpful when it comes to children adjusting after a move. Moving is hard on kids. I hated moving as a kid, changing schools and making new friends is hard. Our boys adjusted a lot better than I ever did after a move and I think homeschooling played a big part in that.

As for me personally, I still hate moving. Packing and unpacking boxes is easy. Finding a new church, doctors, dentists, etc. is a real pain. Just the paperwork from taking my gang to a new dentist gave me hand cramps for a week! Finding your way around a new area is a challenge too. I still get lost once in awhile. Well, not lost like I can't find my way home, but take a wrong turn. There is no "autopilot" driving here for me yet.

We got rid of too much before we moved. Last time we moved across the country, we didn't get rid of enough and we didn't want to make that mistake again. We just didn't know we were going to find a place with a spot for guests where we could use all that extra stuff! Maybe next time we move we'll get it just right.

When we moved to Wisconsin, it took me 10 years to stop calling the electric company SRP (Salt River Project) instead of WPS (Wisconsin Public Service). And now the reverse is true. Same with the PBS channel, it's 8 here and 38 in GB, but they're completely interchangeable in my mind. Jer also recently pointed out that the radio presets in the van are still set to Wisconsin channels. Not sure what that says about me. Am I in denial?

We still interact enough with Wisconsin family and friends that I think of Green Bay things as "local" and at the same time local Arizona things seem "far" away. Every once in awhile I am surprised to see an Arizona license plate or someone wearing an ASU shirt and then realize I'm not in Wisconsin. Thankfully, that has been happening less the longer we're here. Either place Packer gear is completely normal! Go Pack Go!

Costco isn't all it's cracked up to be. I think of it as The (Two Hundred) Dollar Store. Double coupons aren't that great either. I like doubling a limited number of $1 coupons to $2 a lot more than doubling a $.75 coupon to $1 every day. I can count on one hand the number of times I've gotten a really great deal because of double coupons. Most of the time they don't make up for the higher price of just about everything here. It is nice getting the better regional coupons though!

There aren't as many flying bugs here, but we're not celebrating because there are a lot more crawling bugs. I think I prefer flying bugs. Love, love, love my exterminator!

Mountains and sunsets are beautiful here in the desert. The phrase "when it rains it pours" must have been coined here. It either does not rain at all or it pours. Except during Monsoon season, the weather here is boring. It gets dark faster here (not earlier though), dusk is shorter. [The closer you are to the equator the shorter dusk is, did you know that? I didn't.] The moon is the same no matter where you live.

Facebook makes moving easier! The last time we moved it was hard to keep in touch with the friends and family we left behind, but with Facebook it's easy! I can keep up on the day to day lives of far away friends instead waiting for Christmas cards or visits. I am so thankful for that!

Service Call

You know how when you have a million things going on... including your seventh newborn and a cross-country move... and you just don't have time for little problems that will slow you down? Well, the furnace stopped working today. We don't even own this house anymore and we're moving in a week. I really didn't want to deal with a service call and bill to fix the silly furnace. But what choice do we have... we couldn't just leave it. Don't think I didn't consider it though!

We called our usual HVAC repair company and they sent a guy out. It was an easy fix. The exhaust pipe was blocked and, of course, there is a safety mechanism that causes the furnace to turn off if it cannot vent. The repair guy just had to clean out the vent which runs from just outside the back garage service door to the unit in the middle of our basement. It's a fairly long pipe, but the blockage was right where the pipe vents outside. What was blocking it you ask?

Well, if you happened to be naughty little boys what would you stuff into a vent? Dirt. Check. Rocks. Check. A racquetball. Sure. String. Why not? A urine specimen cup. Yes, yes, they did. Where did they even get a urine specimen cup, you ask? Remember their mother was (not too many weeks ago) going to weekly OB/GYN visits that included taking a urine sample. When the baby was born, and the need for urine samples ceased, the naive mother tossed the remaining (thankfully unused) cup into the recycling bin where the naughty boys found it. Why they stuffed it in the vent remains a mystery.

I'm pretty sure the HVAC guy has never, and will probably never again, pulled a urine specimen cup out of a vent. This lovely vent clean out cost $117. I was going to take the money out of five savings accounts, but in a stroke of genius I remembered I had a $100 "gift card" as a thank you for a referral. The nice repairman took that and a check for $17 as payment and laughed all the way down the street.

Adventures with Ocho

After Christmas we added some gerbils to the family to ease the pain of not having any pets. Wesley named them Milt and Ocho. We thought at the time they would be "easier" to deal with than a dog. And they are... mostly. Not too long after we got them, they escaped. Both of them. At 3 am. On a weekday. Thanks to Wesley's good ears and some fast early morning furniture flinging by Jerry we had them both back in the cage within minutes. That time they got out of a "side door" in the cage.

After a few weeks of looking a the duct tape on the side doors and dealing with the mess they were able to kick through the sides of the wire cage, we decided an aquarium was the way to go. The aquarium keeps the bedding in so much better than the old cage and, as an added benefit, the boys can see the gerbils much better too. They are fun to watch! We've had no problems since. Until yesterday.

Sometime Tuesday night or possibly early Wednesday morning one of the gerbils made his second escape. This time it was our fault. The cage was due for a cleaning and there was a little to much bedding (and chewed up toilet paper tubes) in the cage. We have no witnesses but they must have pushed the bedding up high enough for one to get out. Perhaps with a boost from his brother? :) The second one was not able to get out and thankfully remained in the cage. How they manage to survive the equivalent of a 3 story fall off the dresser every time they escape is beyond me!

Wesley thought he heard something at 9:30 and I thought I heard an odd sound around 10:30, but neither of us investigated. It wasn't until I was wiping off the table after breakfast and I saw some "droppings" that I knew something was amiss. I saw the evidence and thought to myself... I can't believe it, we have a mouse! Then it dawned on me... we have two! Sure enough, I went right to the cage and saw that we were short one gerbil.

I rallied the troops and we began our search. We checked the boys bedrooms and bathroom, cleaning floors as we went, then shutting the doors and blocking them with towels to prevent re-entry. Next we moved on to the living room. Since I am not allowed to move furniture I had the three big boys push the couches for me. After spending a good half hour cleaning up the pencils (so that's where they all went?), crayons, books, paper, dinos, legos, silly bands, and various other assorted items that can be kicked under our couch we knew where Ocho wasn't. Under the loveseat we found a little nest of shredded paper so at least we knew where he had been.

I did a quick search with the flashlight under the rest of the furniture. At that point we gave up. I couldn't move any other furniture or appliances and we had to move on to school work. I prepared Wesley for the worst and told him that we may never find Ocho. His biggest concern was for Milt, that he would be lonely without Ocho to keep him company. I won't tell you what my biggest concern was but includes smells and duct work.

After lunch I was cleaning up the kitchen and heard Ocho scratching under the oven. The boys were super excited that we found him, but getting him out proved to be a bit of challenge. We tried various things to get him out. None of them worked. (We stopped short of trying Jerry's idea: turning on the oven to see if the heat drove him out.) I blame my excitable helpers. I'm sure my inability to move the oven didn't help either. So we gave him some food (which he scattered all over under the oven) and water then left him in our little corral until Daddy came home.

Ocho's Corral--he never came out from under the oven

Spotted! The little trouble maker!

J.D. waits for a sighting

Within minutes of getting home Jerry's had Ocho back in the cage. He pulled the oven out and I used the broom to send him under the oven into the open space where Jerry caught him in a bucket. (Think furry hockey puck and broom as a hockey stick with a bucket for the goal.) Jerry was nice enough to do a little spring cleaning under and behind the oven as long as it was out. Then, since it was dinner time and I hadn't been able to cook with a gerbil and his corral under my oven, we went out to Taco Bell for dinner. We also stopped at Petsmart to get a lid for the cage because this will be the last time we do this.

Thanks to Ocho... I got most of my floors cleaned including under and behind my stove PLUS I got to eat dinner out! But he still owes me $10.99 for the cage lid.

Makena and Big Government

This is part III, for some background read part I & part II first.

"I'm from the government and I'm here to help."  President Reagan called these the some of the scariest words in the English language.  The newly FDA approved drug Makena is a clear example of just how right Reagan was.

My wife and I are expecting our 7th child. Since my wife has a history of premature labor, we were hoping this time around that she would be treated using a form of progesterone known as 17P.  This drug was not specifically made for treatment of premature labor, but in recent years its use for this purpose has increased following some studies demonstrating its effectiveness.  Also, 17P was relatively inexpensive, in some cases costing as little as $10/dose. Sadly, our plan has been called into doubt due to a recent development.  Under a federal law known as the Orphan Drug Act, KV Pharmaceuticals sought and won FDA approval for their version of 17P, known as Makena.  Along with this approval comes 7 years of market exclusivity (that is, only KV can sell this drug) and the announcement that KV would sell Makena for $1,500/dose.

You can read my previous post on why the moral outrage over this dramatic price increase should be directed at KV, a distressed company that saw an opportunity to get healthy with a safe bet on Makena.  But who created the conditions that allowed them to make the bet in the first place?  Clearly in this case, the answer is the federal government.

Whether or not my wife is treated with Makena, the $1,500 price tag will mean that some women who need it won't get it.  Some people will look at circumstances like these and think they require a government intervention, but it was government intervention that allowed for the price increase in the first place. Some problems are not the result of "greedy business" or "heavy-handed government," but are actually the result of these two elements combining.  The Orphan Drug Act, a federal law, allowed KV to become the sole supplier of  a drug that was widely available at a relatively low cost simply by pushing it over the finish line of FDA approval.  Many people fear, and are willing to denounce, the market distortions that come with private monopolies, why shouldn't we be just as concerned over those created through government intervention?

Even if you prefer markets over government solutions, there is no need to demonize the federal intervention in this case.  It is not at all hard to believe that the lawmakers who crafted the Orphan Drug Act did so with the best of intentions in an effort to promote drug development for rare diseases. Because these diseases affect a relatively small number of people, markets for these drugs may not be large enough to entice private investment in research and development (I'm not sure premature birth really qualifies as rare).  But the result in this case is not a victory for anyone except KV Pharmaceuticals, since they will benefit from a government granted monopoly.

Unfortunately, what should be a cautionary tale about unintended consequences and the dangers of government intervention, will likely be used to call for even further government involvement (of one from or another) in this case.  This is a response that simply boggles my mind.  The opportunity for KV to profit from the marketing of Makena was a direct result of government intervention, so now we need more intervention to try and correct what went wrong the first time around?  It kind of reminds me of that children's song about the old lady who swallowed the fly.

I believe that markets are superior to government planning when it comes to deciding what we produce as a society and how much what we produce costs.  That is not to say the government can't or won't ever be involved in markets, it will.  When we contemplate government action we need to recognize that there will be unintended consequences. Some of which we will be good at anticipating and some of which will come as a complete surprise.  Given the power of markets and the potential dangers of government intervention, there should be a very high bar for government involvement in markets and an even higher one for times when the government is going to grant monopoly powers to a private business.

The story of Makena will have a human cost.  It will be reflected in the children born too soon because their mothers never received 17P, which just a few weeks ago was widely available at a fraction of the current price.  It is also the story of a private business seeking extra profits by using the power of the government.  Finally, it is a story that will be repeated many times over whenever big business sees an opportunity to use big government as a weapon to be deployed in pursuit of profits that would never exist in a competitive market place.

Makena and the Orphan Drug Act

This is part II, you may want to go back and read part I for some background.

When my wife was a child she and her sister shared a beloved record of the the songs from the musical Annie.  At some point, one of them, I'm not sure who, left it out in the summer sun and it melted.  The fact that this story is still told, and told with no small measure of sadness, attests to just how traumatic the experience was.  This week it's another kind of orphan that has my wife upset.

She is 13 weeks pregnant with our 7th child.  She has had a spontaneous preterm delivery before.  During this pregnancy my wife and her doctor had decided she would be treated with 17P injections from week 16 through week 36. 17P is a form of progesterone and is used to prevent premature delivery.  Even at around $200 a dose when delivered in our home by a home health company, this cost seemed like a bargain compared to the cost, both monetary and emotional, of having a preemie.  At 13 weeks, we are only about 3 weeks away from the beginning of the treatment.  On Monday, I read this on one of my favorite economics blogs, Marginal Revolution:

Makena is a drug used for premature birth therapy. It’s been available off-label for a long-time but KV pharmaceuticals ran a clinical trial and applied for FDA approval under the Orphan Drug Act (ODA). Under the ODA, KV is entitled to seven years of market exclusivity, this is even stronger than a patent because it gives KV the right to exclude from the market any drugs (not just similar drugs) that treat the same condition.

Now that KV has a monopoly—enforced against compounding pharmacies by threats from the FDA—the price will rise from about $10 to a listed price of $1,500. Naturally a lot of people are outraged.

I'm not exactly outraged, but I am a little bit sad since a treatment my wife and I had put so much hope in will now be substantially more expensive.  As someone who comments on the consequences of public policy from time to time, it's not that hard for me to set aside my personal feelings for a minute and ask whether or not granting a monopoly to KV in this case makes sense, and I'm not sure that it does.

First, it is important to remember what we are NOT talking about here.  This is not a case where KV developed and brought to market some entirely new treatment that was previously unknown. The patent protection given to new drugs is a related issue, but it is not a factor in this case.  As noted in the quote above, Makena has been given off-label for a long time. This means it hasn't been approved by the FDA as treatment of the condition for which it is being prescribed (in this case preterm delivery).  Given the fact that it has been in wide use, it would seem the standard arguments about patent protection for new drugs wouldn't apply to Makena.  Here is drug researcher Derek Lowe:

What's irritating, to someone like me who works at a "find a new drug" type of company, is that these no-name generic outfits (KV in this case, URL Pharma for colchicine) are doing pretty much what critics of the industry think that we all do, all the time. That is, walk up to situations where other people have done a lot of the work, a good amount of it with public/NIH money, and step right in and profit. Now it's true that these companies have to basically run Phase II/Phase III trials to take the data to the FDA, and that's a significant amount of money. But their risks in doing so have been watered down immensely by the history of these drugs in the medical community.

So KV has some risk in that they have to perform the final series of trials and then go through the FDA approval process, but is this cost proportional to the benefit?  In this case seven years of exclusivity, and the tremendous run up in price that comes with it.  History suggests that what KV added to the Makena story may not have been that valuable to anyone other than KV since the durg had been gaining popularity as a treatment for preterm labor at least since 2003 when a study demonstrated Makena's effectiveness.

The Orphan Drug Act, under which KV has gained the exclusive rights to Makena, is a law intended to promote drug development for rare diseases.  According to the March of Dimes more than half a million babies a year are born prematurely.  Given those numbers, it's not clear to me how prematurity still qualifies as a rare disease.

Finally, there are the circumstances around the company now selling Makena at $1500/dose, KV Pharmaceuticals.  This is from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

Staring down at the former chief executive of KV Pharmaceutical Co. — what used to be among St. Louis' most successful companies — the federal judge portrayed Marc Hermelin as an example of capitalism gone awry.

"What I see when I see Mr. Hermelin is greed, abuse of power, recklessness," U.S. District Judge E. Richard Webber said Thursday. "He had this great company of 1,700 (employees), and once diverted, he was sending pills across the country that were twice the strength of their labels."

...By 2008, KV was considered one of the most successful publicly traded companies based in the St. Louis area. But the criminal case against Ethex resulted in a two-year shutdown of KV's production facilities and layoffs of three-quarters of its work force. Now, the drug company is hoping to revive itself with a new prenatal drug, Makena.

KV is a distressed company making a bet on Makena.  But how much does KV really have at risk?  Given the fact that 17P was in wide use and there were studies demonstrating its effectiveness, it would appear they weren't risking much.

It is still not clear if we will be able to get a compounded form of 17P or if we will have to buy Makena at the new higher price.  Even at the higher price, my wife will likely still get Makena.  It just means we will hit our out of pocket maximum this year.

If there is any shame in this situation, and I believe there is, it belongs to KV and KV alone, but it would be a mistake to ignore the government's role in this. Without federal intervention in the form of the Orphan Drug Act, women would continue to get 17P and prematurity would have an effective and low cost treatment.

Makena: Public Policy & Private Consequence

This is a post from Jerry's blog that I wanted to share here as well. This is part one of three:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I don't actually believe the universe is out to get me, but I can't help but wonder if in this case I might be forgiven if I did.

Recently a drug company known as Ther-Rx sought and received approval for the first FDA approved treatment to reduce the risk of preterm birth in pregnant women.  Ther-Rx is a wholly owned subsidiary of KV Pharmaceuticals, a St. Louis based company.  The drug will be sold under the name "Makena" and was available to be prescribed the week of March 14th.  Makena is actually alpha-hydroxyprogesterone caproate injection, prior to Ther-Rx's involvement, it was known popularly as 17P.  Among women and doctors who deal with prematurity, 17P was well known and was given to women as a weekly injection starting around the 16th week of pregnancy and continuing to the 36th week.  The announcement of FDA approval was hailed by the March of Dimes as a step forward in the prevention of premature birth, which undoubtedly helps women and babies.  Ther-Rx also announced that the price of Makena would be around $1500 a dose, so with a typically course of treatment running 20 doses over 20 weeks, the cost would approach $30,000.  A large sum of money, to be sure, but relative to the costs of treating prematurity and the potential life long health effects that can result from a preterm birth, this price may actually represent a tremendous deal.

This description of Makena reads like a medical that a local news station might slot for late in the half-hour, or a pitch to potential investors looking for a company on the cusp of taking off.  So why does the announcement of Makena make me feel like the universe is conspiring against me?  The short answer to that question is that my wife is 13 weeks pregnant, all of our children have been born early, four of them early enough to require hospitalization, and we were both counting on using 17P injections during this pregnancy to help avoid another premature delivery.

If you want to read more about our experience with premature birth and how our attitude toward family size has changed over the years (including much more personal information than I usually go into on this blog), keep reading.  Otherwise, in the next post (or two) I'll look at how KV came to be the beneficiary of this sudden increase in the price of 17P and the possible implications for public policy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In 2000 my wife and I had one child, a daughter, and were anxious to have more children.  She had been subject to irregular cycles for a number of years, but no doctor had seen anything serious enough in her condition to investigate further.  This was also the year that we moved to Wisconsin and my wife began to stay home full time, rather than work outside the house.  Neither my wife nor I are apt to blindly accept information from experts, including well-intentioned doctors, if we don't understand what they are telling us.  I like to think of it as a healthy skepticism, and this case was no different.  My wife's own research suggested to her that she was suffering from polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and this was eventually confirmed by her doctor.  One of the symptoms of PCOS is eggs that would normally be released during ovulation aren't, and they can form small cysts on the ovaries.

With this diagnosis in hand, we at least knew what the problem was, and we moved on to response.  We decided to try Clomid, a drug that can produce ovulation.  This was successful and in 2002 we had our second child, a son.  He was born at 38 weeks, but aside from a precipitous labor that required an ambulance ride to the hospital, everything else was fine.  Given the success with Clomid, we decided to try again.  By 2004 my wife was pregnant again.........with twins.

I'm not exaggerating when I say the prospect of having twins was dizzying.  Elation was replaced one January morning when my wife woke me up and told me that her water broke.  Trouble was that she was only about 30 weeks pregnant.  A few exciting hours later (ask me to tell you the story some time) my twins were born.  They each weighed around 3 pounds, and were admitted to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).  For the next several weeks we watched as they made slow and sometimes halting progress from tiny people who couldn't breathe or eat on their own to really small people who could breathe on their own and drink from a small bottle.  Parents of preemies who have watched a child's skin go ashen when they stop breathing during eating will know what I mean when I say our twins weren't always able to do both at the same time.  With help from friends and family we made it through the weeks of hospitalization without any major effects from premature birth and the twins are now healthy seven year old boys.

In the time after the twins came home and life returned to a new normal.  As it did, both my wife and I really began to think hard about issues around family and child bearing.  It's not that we didn't think about these things at all before, but looking back I think we approached them with a self-centered attitude (we wanted to have children) rather than a God-centered attitude (what did He want for us).  Family size became a topic of regular conversation in our household and eventually we decided that it was important for us to turn this part of our lives over to God and that we would no longer try to consciously control the number of children we had.  This meant no more Clomid AND no more birth control.

For some this might seem like a bold step, but given my wife's medical history it's not clear that we were really surrendering anything meaningful.  Soon though, we found out just what can happen when you stop trying to lean on your own understanding and turn important parts of your life over to God.  In May of 2005 we found out that my wife was pregnant again, this time the old-fashioned way.  It's hard to remember exactly how we felt at the time, but my memories include a mixture of excitement and fear at the prospect of another baby.  The baby was due in January, which meant the twins would be less than two years old when we added to the family. 

We had assumed that the preterm birth of our twins was related to the fact that they were twins, but when my wife gave birth to our fifth child at 33 weeks, we began to doubt that was the case.  At around four pounds, this boy was bigger than the twins at birth, but still had trouble breathing on his own.  Back to the NICU we went.  This stay was shorter than that of the twins, but I recall it as being more frustrating since it was primarily feeding issues that prevented my son's departure from the hospital.  Eventually he figured it out and we came home.  Again, another preemie had escaped any serious health issues and joined his brothers and sister at home.  Rather than causing us to second guess our decision, our fifth child only strengthened our resolve.  For me, it seemed clear that we had made the right choice in being open to the blessings of more children, premature delivery and all.

That was November of 2005.  By late December of 2006 my wife was pregnant with our sixth child.  During this pregnancy we were diligent about efforts to prevent a premature delivery.  At the time the 17P injections were not common in our area so we did not get them, though she did get an alternative progesterone treatment.  Despite our efforts, our sixth child (fifth boy if you are keeping score at home) was born at 35 weeks, weighing 5 lbs. 10 oz. and still required about ten days in the NICU.

While all four of these boys received "intensive" care, it was really only the twins, born at 30 weeks, who experienced what I imagine most people think of as time in the NICU.  The other two boys were fragile no doubt, but their treatment primarily monitoring and supplementing the growth process that they were trying to complete, now outside of the womb.  It was no fun to be sure, but not nearly as scary as the experience with the twins.

So that was four years ago.  Since then we have not changed our attitude toward family size, but we haven't had any more babies.  People still ask me quite often if we are going to have any more kids, and I always tell them it is possible.  Most of them probably don't believe me and suspect that we have been preventing pregnancy for the last four years.  For my humorous description of how the world sees a family with five small boys, be sure to check out this post from 2009.

As to what the future holds for us, I can't really say.  I can say that my wife and I have been called to love every child that He has blessed us with and that we believe in the biblical mandate to be fruitful and multiply.  What, exactly, does that mean?  I wouldn't presume to tell you that means you should have two children or twenty, as I suspect there is not a single answer.  For a good discussion of this issue, with a biblical foundation and a humble approach, I recommend the blog of the Jeub Family. 

The other thing I can say is that too many people let family size be a passive rather than active decision. They take their cues from the culture at large and do what they think they are supposed to be doing.  Few people realize this and even fewer admit it.  Our natural tendency is to go with the flow, not only in the area of family size, but in almost all aspects of life.  It takes an effort of will, and I would say a measure of faith, to fight our natural tendencies to get along and instead to live intentionally.  That would be my challenge for anyone who reads this.  Think about the areas in your life that have been shaped without much effort on your part, like a canyon taking its shape from wherever the river leads, and take the time to examine these areas and make changes where necessary.

As I said, my wife is expecting in September and both of us had high hopes for the 17P injections when it came to preventing another premature birth.  Now that we are only three weeks away from when they would start, I was surprised to learn of KV Pharmaceutical's brand new patent on Makena, it's new price of $1,500 a dose, and the federal government's role in how this came about.

Inquiring Minds

A long time ago we were normal. We had one child while we were very young and had things "to do" before we were ready to have another. Finish college, larger income, work a few years, move across country, etc. We spent money and time actively preventing any "surprises" that would put a kink in our plans. Sure, there were times that we could feel the pull of wanting another child, but we pushed on past and got a dog.

Shocker of shockers when we felt we were "ready" and tossed the birth control we found we had major problems. Unfortunately, we were not alone, many couples in our age group were in the same boat. I have no idea why it seems like so many couples today have fertility problems. What I do know, and wish more people knew, is that just because you're not using birth control doesn't mean you will get pregnant. Not everyone is a Michelle Duggar.

Ironically, while our first was conceived without any difficulty whatsoever, our second required several months of fertility testing and treatment. We did get our little miracle and then TWO more when we tried again! While we were going through these treatments and pregnancies we had a change of heart (and mind). Heart first, but it took a bit of convincing the head.

We read what the Bible had to say about children (it says they are a blessing and a reward!) and several books about birth control and came to the (obvious) conclusion that we weren't really in control of our fertility at all. God alone opens and closes the womb. When we didn't want a baby we got one and when we desperately wanted one we couldn't have one.

We decided since it wasn't really in our control anyway we'd just officially give the task over to God and see what happened. In all honesty, it really wasn't a very big leap of faith because we didn't think we could conceive without medical assistance. God has a wonderful sense of humor though and just like that baby number five was on the way! And then baby six sooner than we ever imagined!!

We did the math and wondered... if a baby comes every other year and we have several years of childbearing left... what is going to happen? Just how many kids are we talking here? Some days were harder than others and some days even we wondered if we were crazy. It is hard to be different. It is hard being a family with 6 kids in a 2 kid family world. But we looked at each one of the children we had and just as we knew we didn't regret any child we have, we would never regret another. There is something very freeing about trusting God in this area. There is no doubt or confusion about what is God's will, if He wants you to have another child you will, if not you won't. Simple as that. Which is where we are now...

God has shown us again (we're slow learners) that we really have no business trying to figure Him out. We were expecting to see those double lines on a pregnancy test at anytime throughout 2009. It never happened. Now 2010 is winding down and the "baby" is well over three, the crib is disassembled in the basement, and the nursery redecorated for older boys. People have started to ask if we are "finally done" or if we are going to "have any more". We always answer along the lines of "we'll see" or "we'd love to have more", but the truth is we are wondering the same thing. We have no idea if we are "done" or not.

What people really want to know, and are too polite to ask, is if we are using any type of birth control. The shocking answer is... no. We aren't doing anything to prevent future Showns. We are choosing to let our bodies function the way they were created and it is very obvious that God did not want us to have another child at this time. We are very happy with our current family size and, at the same time, we would be happy to have more!

Living on Auto Pilot (and a side note)

Yesterday I read a great post about why another Christian, homeschooling family in our area doesn't celebrate Halloween. It really is a very thoughtful, non-judgmental article and you should read it.

My favorite part of the post, though, was the admonition that Christian's should not operate on "automatic pilot". I have been thinking about this a lot lately in regards to many areas of Christian living. I am not going to throw any stones here since I clearly live in a glass house, but why do Christians do this? Do things just because that is what others are doing, without even giving it a second thought or praying about it? Isn't that the way "the world" lives?

If you have prayerfully made a conscious decision to do, or not do, something that is one thing... but are you making important decisions while operating on "automatic pilot"?

It's more than just whether you celebrate certain holidays... what about whether or not you work outside the home, where your children are educated, or whether or not you have more than 1.8 children? Do you do (or not do) things just because that's how your parents did it or that's how your friends do it? We, as Christians, need to do a better job of considering what God would have us do, searching the Bible for answers, instead of just blindly following along with what everyone else does.

We are not to "conform to the pattern of this world" (Romans 12:2). What does "not conforming" look like? Actions speak so much louder than words. Is your life an example to others that God's way is a different, and better, way?

Will your conclusions on various issues, after prayer and discussion, be the same as mine? Maybe. Maybe not. I definitely don't have all the answers, but these things are worth taking time to think about, pray about, and search out in the scriptures. When I write something on this blog, I'm not trying to convince you to do things my way, I'm just sharing my personal feelings. My hope is that you will think about these things and look to God's word to find answers. Ultimately, we will each have to answer for our decisions, not to each other, but to The One who created us.

A side note about Halloween: We do not "celebrate" Halloween. We did years ago when Roz was little but have since stopped. None of the boys have ever gone "trick-or-treating". At our old house we did hand out candy (once with an encouraging quote/Bible verse sticker on them), but when we moved a few years ago we decided to not even do that. Our neighbors probably think we're a bit odd (or party poopers), but I'm okay with that.

I have one more thing to share. I actually know one person who is a professing Wiccan. Even as an adult this person loves Halloween, dresses up, and goes all out to "celebrate". (Other cults also "celebrate" Halloween.) That alone is enough reason for me to steer clear of it. Look at this map to see what countries have the most Wiccans, it shouldn't surprise you to find out that these are the same countries that celebrate Halloween. Perhaps your faith is strong enough to ignore the darker parts of Halloween and withstand evil temptations, but what about those who are not that you lead there by your example? (Mark 9:42)

But examine everything carefully;
hold fast to that which is good;
abstain from every form of evil.
1 Thessalonians 5: 21-22

[Now, I've said this before and I'll say it again... if you are not a Bible believing Christian then feel free to ignore this post.]

Why We Homeschool

Most of our friends and family know we homeschool, but while on our trip to Arizona we got asked several times... why? Truthfully, my answer depends on who asks. Sometimes a stranger asks (usually if we happen to be out during school hours). My answer to a complete stranger when we have approximately 15 seconds, while standing in the checkout line, is different than the answer I give a friend or family member who seems genuinely interested. Sometimes people ask only to argue and defend their choice to send their kids to school. I try to avoid these conversations because no amount of polite discussion is going to change minds on either side.

No matter who asks, though, it is always hard to answer. It is similar to the working mom/stay-at-home mom debate. There are emotions tied up in the discussion. I know what is right for my family and hope others are doing what is right for their family. Just because we homeschool doesn't mean we think you should. It isn't right for every family and that's okay. Now, do I think more families could do it and do it successfully? Absolutely.

I found this article awhile ago that listed ten good reasons to homeschool. As I read, I nodded in agreement the whole time. First, the author has different answers to "why" depending on who asks, just like I do. He also tries to avoid discussing it with some people:

I have found that it is often necessary to change the subject quickly, otherwise I’m stuck listening to total strangers defend their decision to place their kids in school, defend their need for two incomes, and then ask me if I’m worried about issues associated with my own children’s socialization experiences. It still amazes me that people I barely know will readily draw me into such intimate and personal discussions. And worse yet, the defensive nature of the conversation inevitably yields to the expression of guilt on behalf of the person who has children in school. Guilt, defense, and the probability that I’m messing up my children – all from somebody I may have just met.

So why do we homeschool? Our favorite short answer is that we don't want peers to be the biggest influence in our children's lives, but our long answer is much more than that. The author (from the above article) summed it all up much better than I ever could. You should really go read the whole article, but just in case you don't, here are a few highlights that hit the nail on the head.

Reason #3: Time. If I had to pick one phrase that summarily communicates why we homeschool, it would simply be "school is a waste of time." This isn’t to say that people don’t learn important things in school, or that school is a total and complete waste of time...

I would rephrase that to: a lot of time is wasted at school. Even parents who send their kids to school admit this. In school, classmates move as one through each grade. Are each of those children really at the exact same level? Are some kids being pushed along? Are some being held back? How much of each day is "busy work" only to have homework with the parents later anyway?

Reasons #4 & #5: Identity and Control... we want our children to develop clear pictures of their own individual intellectual identities, and we want them to know how to take full advantage of the fact that they are always in control of their own learning.

Somewhere along the line, I learned how to learn. More than anything I want that for my children. You might not know everything, but you know a way to find out. My most successful, and most enjoyable, educational experiences have been the times I taught myself something.

The worst form of inequality
is to try to make unequal things equal.
-Aristotle

Everyone is different. That is a good thing. Different children have different abilities. All students are NOT equal. One of our teacher friends mentioned recently how sad it was that students don't have a sense of "rivalry" (especially between school sports teams) anymore. I can think of several reasons things have shifted in this area, one is partly due to the fact that students are told everyone is the same. You can't say you're better than someone else, even if it's true. People are different though, that is just a fact. Some people are not as bright as others. Some will be sanitation workers while others will be doctors. And you know what? That's okay! We need both!

I often think about people's God-given, innate talents. How many people missed their calling because they had to toe the "school" line and never had the chance to branch out and find their own path. Being taught to be the "same" as everyone else is not what I want for my children. If you're hoping for a classless society where all members are perfectly equal then you're hoping for communism.

Reason #6: Socialization... But it may surprise most people to learn that concerns about socialization are one of the most important reasons why we choose to homeschool.

I don't want my children to be "socialized" in the way most people mean when they ask about this. Dictionary.com says this about socialization: " a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills...". Socialization is a process that starts at birth and never ends. That process doesn't magically start when a child enters school and it definitely doesn't stop if they stay home!

Reason #7: Shelter. One of the criticisms I get occasionally during discussions about homeschooling is whether or not I’m concerned about the fact that our children are sheltered too much from reality...

Our kids are "sheltered", but isn't that what parents are for? All parents "shelter" their children in some ways whether they go to school or not. Our kids don't see some of the differences that kids in school might see. They don't think that hanging out with your baby brother is lame. They played with a neighbor kid for months before it dawned on them that her skin was a different color. They don't care one bit about what clothes they wear and they don't ever ask for something "because all the kids have one".

Shelter synonyms:
Protect. Defend. Guard. Preserve.
Watch over. Shield. Safeguard.
Shelter antonyms:
Expose. Endanger.

Reason #9: Family. Perhaps the most profound reason why we homeschool is our desire to truly appreciate the daily sanctity of family. Time is a precious commodity, and it is much more worthy of family than many of the non-family experiences...

I think it's unfortunate that the mandatory age for schooling just keeps getting younger and pulls kids away from their families earlier. I'm only half kidding when I say that before too long we'll just discharge them from the birthing suite to a learning institution of some sort.

I have absolute confidence that we can properly educate our children within the walls of our own home. Why? Because one on one "tutoring" works. Because we know our children, their strengths and weaknesses, and we love them more than any teacher ever could! No one cares more than we do about whether or not they are successful.

Not being known doesn't stop
the truth from being true.
-Richard Bach

Reason #10: Religion...We homeschool because it is part and parcel of our faith experience. Serving others, praying together, and living lives that are not defined exclusively by the values of our society...

We are not religious nuts. We do, however, have a relationship with Jesus Christ and what we believe, as Christians, has become taboo in the public school system while other religions and lifestyles are freely discussed as part of a "global worldview".

Bonus Reason #11: It's Not All About Fun
My last point wasn't mentioned in the above article but I thought I'd mention it here anyway. I have to chuckle when people say my kids are missing out on all the "fun". Well, since we are talking about school here, I thought the goal was an education!

But don't worry, homeschoolers have plenty of fun. We just took a two week vacation in the middle of the school year! We go on field trips, play sports, and hang out with friends just the same as schooled children. Our homeschool group even has their own prom.

Homeschoolers, who feel so led, can do everything their school-attending counterparts do. We definitely aren't missing any fun! We're just having fun (and learning) together as a family. And when it comes down to it... I can't think of anything more important than that. I might regret a lot of things later in my life, but I don't think spending time investing in my children will be one of them.

A Tale of Two Hotels

While on our AZ Trip we stayed in only two hotel rooms. One on the way down and one on the way home. Both fulfilled our three requirements: an indoor pool (for the boys), wireless internet (for the girls), and a continental breakfast (for all). [Jerry only required a bed.] At both hotels we got two standard rooms with two double beds. Neither was fancy and both had the usual no-one-will-ever-steal-this hotel decor. They cost roughly the same (actually the nicer one was cheaper), but there was a big difference.

It's hard to explain the difference since both seem so similar "on paper". I would highly recommend one and definitely not the other. One was just better, more welcoming. You could just tell the management of one hotel took pride in their property. It was well kept and clean. They took the time to replace, repair, and update as needed over the years. The owners seemed to understand things wear out, especially with daily use, and they kept up with the wear and tear.

The other hotel wasn't really "dirty" but it wasn't clean either. Things were more worn or just plain broken. They obviously were trying to get a few more years of use out of several items that had seen better days. The pool area was the worst; the ceiling was in terrible shape and we joked it might fall down at any moment.

I was talking to my grandma about this when we got back. Her house is over 60 years old and in excellent condition. Our old house (right across the street, built a few years after hers) wasn't (isn't) in nearly as good of shape as my Grandma's. We improved it some, but the forty years that house was around before we moved in definitely made it appear more it's age. I know repairs and updates cost money, but that isn't all of it. As Grandma says... just "taking good care of things" goes a long way. You know... an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure... and all that "old-fashioned" wisdom. [She also says it doesn't cost a lot to keep things clean. See? My disease is genetic. :) ]

It just struck me that two hotels, so very similar, gave off such different vibes. What motivates some people to take better care of their property than others? Is it just being cheap? Laziness? Lack of pride? Does geographical location play a factor?

I'm sure there is some lesson to be learned in this, although I'm not exactly sure what it is. If you've ever bought (or sold) a house you know that well cared for homes are worth more, financially speaking, but it's more than that. What do you think? Is a home (or property) a reflection of it's owners?

The Good Ol' (Blog) Days

I've been working on my next book and it's almost done! This book will be longer than the first since it will cover a year and a half of our lives. I made an executive decision to get my blog books on track with the calendar year versus yearly on my blogiversary, which is in May.

As I work on the finishing touches, I have been thinking back to how this blog looked when I first started it. I think the dots template was my first, but I seriously don't remember what my first header looked like! So, just for fun, I am planning to add a few screen shots of more recent changes (headers especially) to the new book. I want to remember what this little ol' blog looked like years from now.

Just like you take pictures of the kids to show how they've grown, I wish I would have done a better job taking "pictures" of my blog along the way. I can go to any post I've ever written, but I haven't really kept a record of the actual appearance of the blog on the screen. That's too bad because my blog has evolved a lot over the years. As I've learned more, it has become more "custom" and less "template".

So, if you have a blog (and you're a bit sentimental like me) you might want to take a screen shot once in awhile to help you remember what your blog looked like "way back when". I don't have any full screen shots but here are a few old headers...

Header Fall 2008

Header Christmas (December) 2008

Header Winter (January) 2009

Header Christmas 2009

Jeremy Evans says hi

That was the subject line of an email I got from my sister last week. I'm sure you are thinking the same thing I was...who the heck is Jeremy Evans?

My sister joined Facebook recently and has been having a good time reconnecting with old classmates. Apparently, one of these classmates remembered me. In fact, he still checks to see if my name is on the list of astronauts when the Space Shuttle takes off. I, sadly, couldn't even remember who he was! That made me feel...well... OLD. My sister sent me an old picture and at least I recognized his face. Although if you would have shown me the same picture the day before I wouldn't have known his name for a million dollars.

Aside from making me fear a future Alzheimer's diagnosis, this little incident made me think of the impression you leave with someone as you go in and then out of their lives. Jeremy Evans knew me when I was in eighth grade. In eighth grade, I wanted to be an astronaut. Stop laughing...I'm serious. I had it all planned out. I was going to attend the Air Force Academy and become a pilot. After I had a put in my years as a pilot I was going to go through extra training and become an astronaut. Don't believe me? Here's a picture of me (minus the hat!) from when I joined the Air Force JROTC to get my foot in the door. (Yes, I was thinner. Yes, my hair was blonder. Yes, big bangs were in. And yes, that really is me!)

In case you hadn't noticed I'm not an astronaut. Or a even pilot. But to Jeremy Evans I could be. He still checks the shuttle crew list looking for my name for crying out loud! Think about that for a second. Think of all the things you could be in people's minds...who is your Jeremy Evans? Just for fun, here's a little Shelly history lesson for you. People could think of me as:

• A school teacher. I started going to ASU in the fall of 1992 to get a degree in elementary education, but after a semester and a half I decided that I really don't like other people's kids all that much. :)
• A nurse. Well, I am a nurse (minus the hat! Hmmm...I'm sensing a pattern here), but I haven't worked in almost 10 years. I'm sure many people still think of me as a nurse. And yet there are many people who know me today that don't even know I ever worked as an RN at all!
  

This isn't just vocational...depending on when they knew me people may think of me as:

• A single mom. Even I have trouble with this one but Roz was almost 5 years old when Jerry and I got married.
  
• A teenage mother. I was. No changing this one. But what if you only knew me as that. What would you expect my life to look like now? What do you think of when you think of teenage mothers?
  
• Mom to an only child. Hard to believe now but I was for over 10 years!
• Someone suffering from infertility. There's a shocker! Some might not believe that if they met me today!
  
• A democrat. I used to have more left wing type views including, I'm sad to say, a great indifference to abortion. I would have never chosen to have one myself but I had no problem with others getting one. (On the other hand, this does not necessarily make me a Republican either. Let's just say I'm a true conservative.)
• An Episcopalian. Growing up when asked what religion I was I used to answer Episcopalian...because as a kid when we went (occasionally) that is the church we attended.
• A Mormon. I seriously thought about joining the LDS church. Twice.
  
• A Nonbeliever. (I almost said agnostic but I'm not sure that is entirely accurate.) Let's just say I wasn't always a Christian.
• A fan of Star Trek (I miss you Jean-Luc!)
  
• Some people might think I still live in Arizona...or maybe even Idaho!
  

How about some more recent things? Things that are part of my identity right now but may not last forever:

• Coupon shopper...will I clip coupons forever? (Until you pry the scissors from my cold, dead hands!)
• Mom of many little children...kids grow up...or so I've heard. :)
• Blogger extraordinaire...Ha! Just kidding...I have that on my "to do" list.

If you ever meet him you can thank Jeremy Evans for this little jog down memory lane. And Jeremy, if you ever read this, I'm really sorry I didn't remember you. I can assure you I won't forget you again, that is unless I forget I made this promise. And you can stop checking the shuttle crew list for my name now.

Confusion and Delay

Good new this morning on the CPSIA front. A friend of mine emailed me a link to this LA Times article. The CPSC has "deferred" the February 10th deadline for lead (and phthalate) testing for one year to give everyone more time to figure out the "how to" of this law.

I sure wish I was a constituent of the Senator that seems to have actually listened to all those calls and emails. According to the article Senator Jim DeMint of South Carolina was "planning to introduce legislation next week to exempt some small businesses from the law..." I hope Senator DeMint will still do so because I would love to see an exemption for small businesses.

I was also glad to read this:

"The commission has been bombarded with thousands of calls, e-mails, letters and visits from people upset about the law, Martyak said. Reps. Henry A. Waxman (D-Beverly Hills) and Bobby L. Rush (D-Ill.) and Sens. John D. Rockefeller IV (D-W.Va.) and Mark Pryor (D-Ark.) also sent the commission a seven-page letter chastising it for the "great deal of confusion and misinformation" that had arisen over the law."

Notice you don't see any Wisconsin senators or representatives listed as doing anything helpful. The bottom line is the deferred date is not really an answer to the CPSIA issue, but a delay at this point is better than nothing.
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Bonus Trivia: What character talks about causing "confusion and delay"? If you have little boys you better know!!

CPSIA

Jerry pointed out to me this morning that even the blogs he reads are starting to cover the CPSIA. I guess today is even "CPSIA blog day". This is really not just about children's toys. Actually, with the "failing economy", I am shocked that something hasn't been done about this yet. And I'm quite dissatisfied at the response that I personally have gotten from the people in the Senate and the House that are supposed to be representing me. Some replies don't even make sense. I'm not sure if these government representatives are deaf or dumb or both. I've said I all I have to say on the subject but here are a few other links in case you want to read them.

Change of Heart

This post has been saved as a "draft" for months. I will never get it "just right" so I may as well post it. Today is the anniversary of Roe v. Wade so I figured it was a good day to hit "publish". Sometime last year I heard about Gianna Jessen, if you have not heard her story it is compelling. She survived a late term abortion and was put up for adoption. I googled her name and that led to a little research rabbit trail.

There is a book about Gianna's life (up through age 17). The book is "Gianna: Aborted and Lived to Tell About It" by Jessica Shaver. I was able to check it out from my local library. Actually, I was shocked my library had it! They have very little on the subject of abortion and even less about the pro-life side. This book won't win any literary awards, but the story was very interesting.

The book mentions a short documentary called "The Silent Scream" about abortion. They now have the whole movie available in short segments online. I had never heard of this movie. It is a bit dated but the footage is amazing and has changed many minds about abortion (including the doctor and ultrasound technician that helped film it). The movie is not terribly graphic like some other abortion films. However, the most disturbing part of the film uses ultrasound to show the abortion of an 11 week old baby.

The director and narrator is a doctor (Dr. Bernard Nathanson) that was one of the founders of NARAL (National Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action League originally the National Association for the Repeal of Abortion Laws). He worked hard, admittedly lying, to make abortion legal during the Roe v. Wade time frame and performed many abortions, including one on his own unwanted child. However, after the invention of ultrasound, he changed his mind about abortion. In 1996, he became a Catholic. He has written a couple books that I have yet to read, Aborting America and The Hand of God, and made another documentary called the Eclipse of Reason about late-term abortions.

Next, I wanted to read a bit more about Roe v. Wade. I was curious, who exactly was Roe anyway? "Roe" was really a woman named Norma L. McCorvey that had said she was raped and became pregnant. She wanted an abortion and since they were illegal at that time, she sued to get it. Of course, we all know the results. However, she never got her abortion. The court case went on too long, she ended up having her baby and giving it up for adoption. Years later, she admitted she had lied and that she was not raped. She too has changed her mind and is now an advocate of the pro-life movement and campaigns to try and overturn the Roe v. Wade ruling. Ms. McCorvey has also written two books, I am Roe and Won by Love, and in recent years has become a Christian. She has petitioned the Supreme Court to hear the case again "in light of evidence" to no avail.

The abortion rate seems to be dropping a bit in recent years but there are still over one million babies aborted each year (less than 1% of those are due to rape). While I'm sure there are many more, here are two people that worked very hard to make abortion possible who have now changed their minds. More/better/improved birth control or even education isn't going to eliminate abortions. I truly believe that the end to abortion will come through changing the hearts of people. People like Norma McCorvey and Dr. Bernard Nathanson. One heart at a time.